Things that would unnerve the xmen
by c-wolf
Summary: be afraid, or just laugh yourself silly. new chapter. Red Witch, one of the short tales is for you.
1. Default Chapter

Things that would un-nerve the X-men  
  
Wolverine groaned. The phone was ringing, at Midnight! He stormed out of his room and jogged toward it. When he picked it up, he heard someone pick up another extension. As Logan was putting it down, he heard the professor say the words "Cue Ball's Beauty Salon, Baldy speaking"  
  
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Rogue was walking through the hall, when the professor and Nightcrawler almost ran her over. Kurt was laughing, while the professor chased him yelling "Be bewy quiet, I'm hunting Wabbit!" - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Xavier got ticked, and yelled at Storm. He ordered her to throw him at Magneto so he could give him a black eye.  
  
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Logan heard "WHEE!!!" coming from the front yard. When he looked out, he saw Xavier doing wheelies in the rain.  
  
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Xavier got drunk one night, and ordered Wolverine to knit socks  
  
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Kitty ran away screaming. Rolling along behind her was Xavier, wearing a bonnet and singing "The Hills Resound with the sound of music"  
  
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The students looked on in shock as they watched Xavier wearing bat ears, rolling through the mansion grounds singing "Nananananana BATMAN!!"  
  
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One day, the professor showed everyone that he had blocked their minds from seeing his tattoos.  
  
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All the students ran from the building screaming, followed by Xavier who had decided to streak.  
  
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Logan walked up to the professor saying "Chuck..."  
  
Xavier did a 180 and took off saying "Beep-beep". A weird sound sort of like a ricochet was heard. 


	2. where's my brain

Scott and Jean walked into the recreation room, and paused. Wolverine was picking his claws with his teeth, looking a little confused in the process. Xavier was pushing a rubber band around with his finger while humming tunelessly. And Beast was rocking Bobby back and forth while he cried.  
  
"It's only been a week since Angel went off the air, and you four still haven't moved on?!" yelled Scott, while Jean burst into tears.  
  
"How could you!" she yelled, and ran out followed by her apologetic idiot of a boyfriend.  
  
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Scott walked down the hallway, and paused. Wolverine was standing in front of the mirror, practicing slashing his claws and growling.  
  
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Wolverine woke everyone up at 3am, singing "Achy Breaky Heart"  
  
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Xavier's students went shopping for some gifts for the professor's birthday. As they were walking by a toy store, they stopped, and stared. Sabretooth and Pyro were playing with a dollhouse. Magneto had removed every single matchbox car from it's package, and was making them do donuts.  
  
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Bobby was doing an ice sculpture in the yard. Jean, Rogue, and Kitty walked out the main door, and screamed.  
  
Bobby turned around to look, and received a black eye. Apparently the New Kids on The Block were a no-no.  
  
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The acoloytes appeared and the X-men prepared to fight. Both sides paused, as Wolverine swung out in blue costume complete with a hat and gun firing canisters that spewed gas, saying "Suck gas evil-doers."  
  
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Sabretooth attacked the X-men, yelling "Pu—upy Power!" (for those who don't know, it's scrappy-doo's favorite saying)  
  
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	3. insanity

"Rubber ducky you're the one..."  
  
Jean and Scott stood in the school hallway in shock along with everyone else.  
  
"That sounds like..."  
  
"Couldn't be..."  
  
Inside the Principals office, a disheveled and disoriented Kelly was grinning like a maniac as he sang into the microphone. Around him were 50 dancing Jamie Maddox' hyped up on sugar and caffeine.  
  
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Xavier and Wolverine rolled into the recreation room. They groaned. Nightcrawler was hanging upside down from the ceiling fan as it spun at high speed. Cannonball was recognized by his feet as he was sticking out of a wall. For some odd reason he was snoring. Beast and Bobby were laying hap-hazardly in opposite corners of the room. Scott was draped over the tv. In the center of it all was an extremely ticked Ororo Monroe.  
  
Jean walked by, and paused. "Who said the wrong thing about PMS this time?"  
  
(Before I get hung upside down and beat up side the head with whiffle bats, I freely admit to being a guy. We guys are stupid sometimes.)  
  
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(just for pure randomness, a cross with Red Witch's Misfits)  
  
The X-men were having a quiet dinner, then a portal appeared. Identical triplets and a somewhat more dignified looking Toad appeared along with a short man with a beard who had a manic look in his eye. They were carrying a coffee pot.  
  
"We're here! We've missed you."  
  
Xavier looked at them. "And you are?"  
  
"Oh crap, that was our inter-dimensional transporter. I told you it looked funny." One of the triplets glared at the other two. Then all three looked at Jamie. "CUTIE!"  
  
Jamie screamed and ran away. Toad meanwhile just looked dazed as he sat in the bowl of soup. The weird short man started pouring out of the coffee pot for everyone.  
  
"The names BA."  
  
Magneto and the Acoloytes landed, and strode toward the mansion. Or they attempted to until they realized their feet were stuck to the ground by some weird color type of glue. Then the X-men ran out of the mansion and pelted them with water balloons filled with Kool-aid, followed by whipped cream and cherries.  
  
The triplets dragged BA and Toad back to the dining room while laughing, and went back to their dimension. Jamie and twenty multiples meanwhile were lying dazed in the recreation room, suffering from manicures and wearing glitter all over.  
  
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End file.
